freaking out

and I don't know what to do. Pretty much no matter what I do I'm screwed. If I don't say something I'm never going to be able to be happy again. If I do say something I'll have to admit I'm the biggest lurk bot. I wish I had NOT LURKED! fml srslyzz uuuuuggggggghhhhhhh I really hate this feeling. gotta love when the emotional translates into the physical...fuuuuck. I'm scared and I don't know what to do...